I like ordering the most expensive thing on the menu but refusing to eat it. It’s okay, though, because it’s a metaphor. The metaphor is I’m incredibly wasteful and extremely wealthy.
OMFG HE’S DYING OF CANCER LET HIM DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS WITH HIS DAMN CIGARETTES
what are you talking about. im trying to brag about how ridiculously rich i am
you make it to the final round on who wants to be a millionaire and the $1,000,000 question is
ok do u finger urself
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
what if u woke up and ur fav fictional character was snuggled next to u and they were like “good morning”
nemo.. you cant be here.. your dad will be worried sick
that boy you just called gay? well he is gay. he’s your boyfriend. both of you are gay. how do you keep forgetting this, jeffery
can someone please photo shop this
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom.